no title.

I don't know how this happened, but my internet only connects for about 1-5 minutes each time. :/ I hate it. I think I spend probably half of my time on the computer trying to reconnect.

I don't know why, but I feel as if I'm not content in being anywhere right now. I hate home; parents are putting in strict curfews ever since my sister got a DUI (I still don't get why I get punished for her mistakes). I'm dreading moving to SB (I move on the 6th). I feel like if I move, I'd be lonely and I won't be able to hang out with my friends from back home, not that I'm taking great use of the opportunity for that right now anyways. I have alot of people I wanted to hang out / Party with this summer, but it seems as if I don't have plans, I just sit on my lazy ass and not bother picking up the phone.. No matter how bored and depressed I am (from being bored), I still don't call. I should really make use of my last week here so I can actually hang out with some people. And when I go to Santa Barbara, my plans were to go to Newport Beach? (with Janice), and then visit Derek in Irvine for a couple of days, and now I feel like I just want to come back home.

Anyways, since June said to write down my dreams..
Last night, I had a dream that I woke up, and went to my sister's room to tell her I wanted doughnuts. Thinking of doughnuts, I could use one right now (:. Then we went out to get doughnuts :D Then I didn't eat even one bite of them because I had to meet up with some friends at some place to get breakfast. This part was pointless and I can't really remember but the next thing I know, I'm back at FT and Janice and I were looking for Rita and June in the stair way (North TOWER :D), we met them at 3rd story, and started smoking.. Then June was taking us somewhere in her ballinnn black SUV. I asked her a question and she yelled at me :< She told me she was in a bad mood. Then we arrived to some outdoor shopping center where we all pulled out some round stuffed animal, and they had handles on the side, and if you held them, you could hover (with no strain on the arms).. We were hovering through the crowds when I saw my old party friends from Anaheim. There were ever like multi-people hover animals thing (like the bicycle for 2 people).. We got to the end where it was some sort of EDC type thing, where everyone was laying / sitting on the ground in little groups of friends.. I asked some random guy who knew my Anaheim friends to watch my bag, and I had the impression he would steal from me. As I walked away, he reached into my bag and I hover kicked him down LOL.. LUCKY ME. He's a troll. and the Troll King definitely did not like that I knocked down his soldier, so he requested to see me. As I was prepping to go see the troll king, I was trying to collect and hide my valuables so that the other trolls wouldn't steal it, but one troll informed me that the troll king would be taking away all of my valuables ):

I had a dream last night that I was at a kickback (at like 2 PM), and while I was walking around, I realized I had a horde of ants in my shoe (white converses, stuck on either sides of the tongue).. I got freaked out and I didn't want anyone to see so I quickly squished them all in together so they would die, then I asked to use their bathroom to shower. :< EWW nasty ants.

My summer's been pretty chill so far.. I haven't really done much out of the usual.. :/ I want to blaze. :<


I don't know how it got so late. Night.

long time ago...

"You know you're addicted to THC when you smoke during finals week."
- Anonymous.

:D

new invention : lollipops that taste like what your hand tastes like after you ate rice and seaweed.

end of freshman year

it's already the end of the year. after 3 challenging quarters, i can say i survived freshmen year. I can even say I avoided the "Freshmen 15" curse. [: Maybe it's around a Freshman 1 for me :D But thinking about the end of the year, it's depressing. Freshman year went by in a flash, soon, my whole life will go by in a flash. I'll have to decide my major soon, which is scary just thinking about because I don't know what I would possibly want to do with the rest of my life at all. Yeah, I've always thought about Business but I don't know. I don't like jobs. If only people got paid on how great they were. =/

It's been way too much fun in Santa Barbara! All the endless nights of getting drunk, going to Freebirds, having countless number of random blazing sessions, always going to Janice's bedroom to have some fun, hating on Gelb, our future landlord, playing blockles when we should be studying, dropping in IV, Ahhh... I gotta admit, there were a bunch of great memories this year.

I'm sad this quarter has gone by so quickly, it was only yesterday when I moved over here, now it's all over. And soon, I'll be making more memories in my apt unit on DP!

This is the weekend :

Thursday : June and I were abandoned by the 2 girls who needed to go home, so we went on a spontaneous trip to IV to buy ourselves a cute little piece we call Snow Pearl and eat up on some Suhiya. We returned, bought from our dealer, and finally took a trip on down to the "Forest of Freedom" or the "Field of Dreams" or whatever they call it. Smoked Abel out for which seemed to be forever, but only happened to be 30 minutes long, went to the Rec Room and watched T.V. while chowing down on some chips and goodies.

Friday : Janice returned to SB and we went out to the Zeta's last party. Had a bunch of fun there! It was just pretty chill [: Then left around 2:30? and knocked on Arie's door (Janice's friend) and smoked with Dustin and some other guy and Arie with a vaporizer :D Then returned to Janice's room to chill and got a smoke downstairs around 5am when we were approached by some random UCR guys. Talked, and hit the sack!

Saturday : Ruined a night because didn't want to go out ]: So we stayed in, smoked, and watched Mall Cop. Went to IN N OUT! Yummmyyyyy.. and I forgot what else happened that day =P

Sunday : Slaved around in the kitchen for almost 5 hours baking Rita her precious birthday cake, ended, smoked and watched Aladdin.

Monday : Slaved away on finals studies. Fuck Oceanography, it sucks.
&& I will continue slaving away until Thursday. After my noon final on thursday, it's hello summer! Although I'm not too excited on the whole move-in, job, summer school.



It seems this time is coming again, the time of depression. It hasn't hit too hard, but it's been definitely hitting. I feel like I have been becoming dependent on weed. I'm not sure if it's really that, but whenever there is nothing to do, that's the "default". And last night was my first sober night in about a week, and I had the most horrific time trying to fall asleep. I even had to go to extremes and listen to Big Bang music while I tried to fall back into sleep. That still didn't work, which it usually does by at least 5 songs. Also, I always had a great memory on my unusal dreams. Recently, it hasn't been working. I always remember I had a wierd dream, but it never pops into my head what happened. Maybe it's because I haven't gotten enough sleep. Whenever I sleep with Derek, I constantly wake up during the night. Or maybe I'm just losing my dreams.


This quarter's finals are definitely taking a toll on my sleep and my brain. Every night, my brain feels exhausted. I don't know if I can carry this on for another night and 2 days. Seems impossible. But monster is here to save my day. Hopefully.


Rita's blogs are so depressing. :< Poor girl, but I understand the depression. I think Santa Barbara would be more perfect with a big city environment. But then again, that wouldn't be the real Santa Barbara that I love.


Depression sucks. Exhaustion sucks. Headaches suck.
Wish me luck on my finals, I need to get good grades to boost up my GPA.