im a 7

Take this personality test, answer the questions truthfully, tell me what you get. It's cool.

http://www.9types.com/rheti/homepage.actual.html



I'm :
Type 1 : 3
Type 2 : 5
Type 3 : 4
Type 4 : 1
Type 5 : 3
Type 6 : 3
Type 7 : 7
Type 8 : 6
Type 9 : 3


:) Have a nice day.

conflicting beliefs

Although I'm in a pretty sucky mood right now, I just realized something that made me bounce from a shitty mood to a sucky mood. I realize that after all my promising and actually showing that I wouldn't be the first to let go, it actually paid off. I mean, after all my effort in sticking by, even through all the bullshit and lies, I feel good. I took the bullshit and I was still standing tall but they couldn't even take it once. I mean, they always said they hated me and wanted to stop talking to me, then told me to stop talking to them, and even a few things actually stopped. Maybe this is just one of those few times, and I'm just feeling shitty for no reason, but every time does seem real while your experiencing it. These times make me glad I'm optimistic, unlike them who probably feels even worse at the moment because they are pessimistic as ever. They also think they are doing me a huge favor when they're nice. It's like I never asked for it, so stop acting like I should be thanking you. And then they think that they give all the effort in the world when it comes to me when that is just.. lies. They say I don't give effort in them but I mean, what would they know? They always state theories and assumptions so I should just brush it aside. But it bothers me knowing that they could never, in a million years, give me the same effort as I gave them. Money doesn't buy me sweetheart.



And then the reasoning or what started all this was a test? I mean, honestly, tests are so immature. Maybe I'm saying that because I'm bitter about it or something. But really, atleast make the test something worth it, something legit, something you can get true facts out of, not some stupid bullshit. That test was almost as useless as telling a fat guy to jump on the ground and then calling that the cause of the earthquake.



I think this is the first real time that I actually didn't really stand up for myself. Well, not necessarily first time, but first person that I didn't stand up to. I know I could, and take them on in a second, but it's just hopeless. Anything I say goes in one ear and comes out the other. What I say doesn't matter or count. So what's the point in saying anything right? There's no point in telling what you think if they're not going to listen. It's like talking to a wall, and then expecting it to understand you. I guess I learned from this person to be less blunt.

Hopefully things turn around. I know what's best is to leave it be, just like what alot of people say. It's best to stay away from them. But then again, I can't just sit here and watch it fade away in front of me. I mean, if things can somehow go back to the way things were. So I guess either way I would be pretty content. Both ways give me a disadvantage. One : I would be giving in to the fact that I let a good friend go. Two : I would have to put my pride, my beliefs, my morals, and everything else aside.

I guess we were really too different. I mean, I lived on knowing that we were, and that I couldn't change how things were, and I was happy, but I guess they still have to learn that people are different, and you should take them for who they are.

OK now I know I'm tired, I keep forgetting what I was about to type. :




Besides this, life was actually going on great.

happy birthday

I realized that I should stop feeding drinks to my DD. My cousin's ex-boyfriend recently got killed by a drunk driver. That makes me really think that maybe someone I know is next. And me being me, I have never had anyone I personally knew die. So that would be a whole new experience for me.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TIFFANY AND BUDD

Hm. I only have a month left before leaving for school. I know that sounds like alot of time to see my friends, but a month will go by so quick it'll feel like a week. So I should start calling people up now and arranging some fun. I hope I get a chance to hang out with everyone I need to before I leave. I actually started a list. I hope I don't forget anyone. =/

I hate assumptions.

I have nothing else to talk about, or I'm too tired to think.. Goodnight.

that thing called love.

i'm in love.

dont forget my other hubby [:

reality vs. fantasy

Reality: Those who care don't matter and those who matter don't care.
I guess that's true. That person who cared doesn't matter, life will go on. I don't know what they care about, or why for that matter, but they cared. And for a few weeks now, I've been living life knowing that they didn't matter. What I don't get is how the one that matters actually does care. Does that mean that this person shouldn't matter? Maybe I'm just being stubborn and not listening to the advices of those people who tell me to ditch it. Maybe it doesn't matter. It just makes me feel worse at the end of the day anyway. But I made a promise. A promise is a promise. And plus, only about 35 more days. I can live.

OH! I finished my book. It was good.

Fantasy: I want to go on vacation. A friend and I were talking about New York, and I would choose NY for my fantasy vacation, but I wouldn't want to go now, it's way too humid. I love New York during the winter, it's just the best place to be. So instead of NY, I'd go to... Somewhere tropical... I'd take my mom.. And my sister.. Or.. my sister when she's not with her boyfriend.. Cuz if she is, that's all she'll talk to (over the phone).. And ofcourse my daddy. :) Sounds nice, I want to go swimming.

Talking about my dad, he's forcing me to wake up at 9~10ish every morning.. Just because I wake up past 1 every day ): So bed time for me.

Night.

handicapped.

So, after a bad fall at Sean's first party, I am indeed handicapped. I limp everywhere. I'm on lockdown for the moment. And yesterday, when I went to Wal-Mart with my sister and a friend, I used the handicapped automatic wheelchair thing. That was pretty funny though, despite the 1 mph part of it. And a pretty nice break for my ankle. It's been almost a week and a half, and I finally went to get treatment for it today; Acupuncture. It wasn't as bad as my first time, and atleast they put it all over my leg instead of my face like last time.

Bottom line : I do not have any intersting stories of my week because I've been in almost the whole time.

Do they have smileys on this thing? It would be nice.

Ugh I just tried over my laptop cable and I think my ankle just got bad again.. HA so much for acupuncture.

I'm surprisingly super excited for college. SB here I come! 38 days? :D

mellow.

this party on saturday night was bomb.. there wasn't any hookah (or my ass there was) but besides that i participated in the lap dance competition, which turned out horribly considering my messed up ankle and the fact that i had no idea where my friken camera went half the night. (thank god i found it sooner or later)

joe da bro leaves on monday, i am truely goign to miss him, unlike those otheres who went to the party and say that they will miss him (bullshit). they probably went for the liquor or the party, and i got to admit what one of my best friends said "half of them look too young." i'm sorry, half of them were ugly as hell, but besides that i had fun.. this girl right here, tanya manibusan, my hero, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mnNobyipS8, shiet she's an underground inspiration.. i love her.. (i don't give a fuck if she's lesbian or not)..

i missed all the people i saw today, and i'll miss my diamond bar friends forever, but honeslty that's not my issue.. i think i have to look out for everyone, which in this case, i really do.. this is pretty pathetic that they can't take care of themselves, but fuck that.. i'll be here, but the thing is that they have never treated me with the same respect and dignity that they have treated me but i'm still better. honestly, this weekend was just a bust, hopefully next weekend will be so much better.

p.s. im afraid to tell my mom about my messed up ankle because i'm afraid she'll smell me ]:
but if it does happen that my ankle is really MESSed up, then someone has to go to sixflags with me..

p.p.s. i forgot. ADD shiet sorry..

replacement.

i am.

Summer List

Summer is half gone but I need a summer list before it's actually over.

x -party
-go to a really BANGing party (including everything i like in a party)
x -beach
-(including some water activities)
-bonfire
-speedzone
-some kind of trip
-roscoes
-coffee shop
-movie day
-six flags (before my ankle gets better so we can have handicap passes?)
-knotts (same as six flags)
-hang out with jason kim and chris lee (since they asked me and i didn't go)
-make something
x -finish college required stuff ): like fafsa
-hang out with everyone i'll miss when i leave (sept 20)
-a decent family trip would be nice (since the last family trip was when i went to orientation and my family went w.o me)
-see the sunset
-see the sunrise
-take tons of pictures (they last longer)
-go on a great adventure (like indiana jones status, not like getting lost)
-santa monica pier
-concert

I'll add more when I think of it :)

first post.

So, just like Xanga, Myspace, and Facebook, I decided to get my own Blogger? (I don't know if it's called Blogger or Blogspot or whatever) I hope I can keep it up unlike my xanga. Reading back on blogs make me happy, you get to read what you were like, how you talked, and mainly, how naive and stupid you were back then, it's pretty hilarious, really.

Basically, my Blog can be whatever i want. I'm pretty random so let's see how many stories I can tell. :) Oh! and referring to before, I think Chris "BIGHEAD" Lee's Blog made me want to start blogging -.-Thanks Chris.

Okay, another reason for making this blog was because the other night, I was super stressed and just wished that I could have something to write to. Paper and pen is just way too old fashion, and plus, now that school is over, writing more than a sentence makes my fingers cramp and hurt. So blog came into my mind, since I'm always reading Chris's. Not thoroughly, but skimming. HA [:

One thing I came to realize that other day was that I feel empty. I know I can be pretty darn optimistic, but the reality of it hit me. I have no reason to live. Not that I'm thinking about suicide and other stuff like that, but in the sense that I have nothing to live for. I mean, I have friends, I go out a good ammount, I've been places and I'm happy with my life, don't get me wrong, but I have no real hobbies, no real interests, no real goal (or drive), and no one really that special to focus on. I really need to find something, but it doesn't come that easy. I know people who are into stuff like cars and making stuff or helping others, and although I wish that could just happen to me, it doesn't come that easy. My only true interest is probably going to parties -.- HA which I really don't think it's that interesting anymore, just fun at the moment. Hopefully SB opens up a new door to me. Watch everyone, I'll come back to So Cal loving outdoor activities (since SB is all about the outdoors).

So, I got this new book last night, the 4th book to the Twilight Series, Breaking Dawn. I just started, and I can't wait until i finish it. :)

So I know I can be pretty lazy, and that I won't post until the weekend is over, so here goes with my plans. Nothing is going on tonight. ): BOO. But because stupid Avalon is having this huge club event and because I'm not yet 18, I'll have to skip out on all that fun. I'll be hanging out with some friends and go up to this haunted mental hospital? HAHA it'll be so much fun. I need to have a scary movie nightt. And I hope everyone going to Lovefest tomorrow will have fun. Hope to see you guys at Monster Massive, since i practically made my friend go, I have to go. And while everyone is at LF, I'll be in DB.

Before I go, one more thing I wanted to mention, my summer list, which maybe it'll be a better idea to have it's own post, just so I can edit without having to go through so much trouble.